Writing Prompt #15: A Band of Misfits Try Saving The Day

Prompt: What stupid question have you heard someone ask (or asked yourself)?


“Who knew you weren’t supposed to touch dragon eggs, am I right?” Sigthyme said.

“Everyone knows that!” Juniper said.

“Yeah even Tak knows that and he’s dumber than a pile of rocks!” Riffen yelled over the crowds of screaming townsfolk.

Tak just smiled and gave everyone a thumbs up.

What had started as a quick journey into the mines of Mythorp had spiraled quickly out of control for this small group of adventurers. There was Sigthyme the Halfling Bard. He was a man who was new to the world of adventures, orcs, goblins, and dragons, but he was charming and could sell sand to the people of Bular (a city in the middle of a desert); plus he played a mean fiddle. Next was Juniper, the Elven Ranger. A master of camouflage, stealth, and a bow and arrow as well as the group’s flirtatious spy. The third member of the party was Riffen. A Half-Elf Swordfighter who was the quasi-leader of the group and his Elven Father, Rialen was the financier of this group’s adventures. Riffen had been a loner for most of his life, but he was determined to be the glue that kept this group together. Now the fourth member was Tak. A Goliath who, like Riffen said, was about as smart as a pile of rocks, but what he lacked in intelligence, Tak made up with in muscle, brute strength, and the ability to rip people in half with his bare hands. That’s not even an exaggeration, that has happened at least twice since this group first met.

It had been about three weeks since this group had found themselves joining the Titan’s League, a group of bounty hunter/monster hunter group founded in the middle of Xylon. They had survived orc attacks, falling into a vat of acid, werewolves, and even an angry governor who thought Sigthyme had stolen his prized horse. They’re still not sure if he actually did steal the horse or not, but Sigthyme had convinced the Governor that he did not steal it. Their latest mission involved the mines of Mythorp outside of Xylon which had been experiencing some seismic activity. Riffen and his gang had been tasked to go check it out and report back to the Titan’s League what was the cause. Sigthyme was convinced that the dragon eggs they had discovered were old and dead. Juniper and Riffen had told Sigthyme to keep away from the eggs, while Tak wanted to smash the eggs with his warhammer.

Now all four of these warriors were running down the mountain trail beside Xylon away from a large, flying, lizard and its firebreath. Those eggs were not old and dead. They were very much alive and protected by an angry mother dragon.

“Should have smashed,” Tak said with a large frown spreading across his face. He was running while carrying his warhammer in one hand, resting on his shoulder.

“We should have done the actual mission and left the eggs alone!” Riffen yelled.

There was a loud explosion behind them and they heard some screams from a group of miners running towards the city. Many trees fell behind them as the fire burnt severl more. Large plumes of smoke rose from the forest outside of Xylon.

“Wow Riffen, how do you do it? You move with such speed and grace even though you have THAT STICK UP YOUR BUTT!!” Sigthyme yelled back.

“Girls, girls, you’re both pretty,” Juniper rolled her eyes. “Now can we focus on the problem at hand?”

“NO!” Sigthyme and Riffen both yelled.

“Move too slow,” Tak picked up Sigthyme and put him on his shoulder preventing the Halfing from falling behind.

“Thanks big guy,” Sigthyme said giving him a few love taps on Tak’s helmet.

“We need a plan,” Juniper said.

“Well we can’t bring the Dragon towards the city,” Riffen said.

“We’re already doing that,” Sigthyme.

“You know what -” Riffen yelled but was interrupted by the Dragon’s roar.

Juniper stopped and turned around pulling her bow off her back. She knocked an arrow and launched one forward. It seemed to strike the armored skin of the dragon and bounced off harmlessly.

“We need something more powerful than arrows,” Juniper yelled as she ran back to the group.

“Warhammer?” Tak asked.

“I don’t think that will do it, buddy,” Sigthyme said.

As the party neared the city, they could hear the warning bells going off towards the city. Up above there were guards running up and down the city walls loading the mounted ballistas and launching large arrows towards the dragon. There was another burst of fire, this time the flames rained down within the city.

“Any plans, Riffen?” Juniper asked.

“Those ballistas are going to be our best chance of knocking the dragon out of the sky. After it’s on the ground, we can attack it with our weapons,” Riffen said.

“Warhammer. Smash,” Tak said.

“Exactly!” Riffen nodded.

“Why don’t you get me up there?” Sigthyme asked.

“What are you talking about?” Juniper asked.

Another dragon roar and shouts from the guards broke up their conversation.

“I could probably ride one of those ballista bolts or tie it to me or something, we could launch it at the dragon, and then I could ride it. Maybe attack its wings or something,” Sigthyme.

“That’s crazy, you’ll die,” Juniper said.

“Then I’m all for it,” Riffen said.

Juniper glared at Riffen and Tak laughed.

Juniper then turned back to Sigthyme, “What if the bolt misses?”

“Don’t worry, baby, I got myself a backup plan,” Sigthyme said with a smile.

Juniper rolled her eyes. “What if the dragon eats you or you fall off its back? This plan is too risky.”

“Do you have any better plans?” Sigthyme asked.

Juniper and Riffen just looked at each other both failing to think of any plans.

“I throw small guy now,” Tak said.

“I think we should probably try the door, Tak,” Sigthyme said.

All four adventurers moved towards the front gates as many citizens rushed by. Some held burnt and bloody bodies. There were cries from people trying to find one another and yells from guards running back and forth across the city wall. Guards at the gate were trying to bring people in while others held crossbows shooting bolts at the dragon flying overhead. They seemed to be bouncing off without much damage.

“Oh bloody hell, not you guys,” One guard stood at the gate with longspear in hand, blood dripping from above his left eye.

“Guys! It’s Fred!” Sigthyme yelled.

“It’s Francis,” Francis said flatly.

“Long pointy stick guy,” Tak said.

“Not much better,” Francis frowned.

“Sir Francis of the Xylon guard, we need your help,” Juniper said taking point.

“No need for the formalities,” Francis said. Even with the armor, blood, and dirt, there was still a little bit of blushing. “What can I do for you?”

“We need to get to a ballista so we can take down the dragon,” Riffen said.

“We’re going to launch me at the dragon,” Sigthyeme chimed in.

Francis looked at the group with disbelief.

Juniper reached out her hand and touched Francis’ hand, “Please Sir Francis, time is dire.”

Francis sighed. “Come with me and don’t do anything stupid.”

“I can’t believe that worked,” Riffen said under his breath.

“Pretty lady touches hand. Gets job done,” Tak said.

“Sometimes you are so dumb and sometimes you are so smart,” Riffen said.

“That’s compliment,” Tak said.

“Guys! Juniper and Fred are going to start making out if we don’t catch up with them,” Sigthyme said.

“Right, let’s go launch you at a dragon,” Riffen said with a heavy sigh.


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