Prompt: While Trick-or-Treating, you are suddenly ambushed by an actual vampire and are forced to listen to his story. It’s unbelievably lame. Sit back and discover the most boring vampire origin story ever told.
“Aren’t you a little old to go Trick-or-Treating?” Riley’s Mom asked.
“Mom, I’m fourteen. Plus it’s not like we’re going as kids. It’s just going to be me and Lauren walking around,” Riley said.
“Is Lauren’s parents going to be with you?”
“No. It’s just going to be us.”
“So you’re young enough to go Trick-or-Treating, but old enough to do it by yourself,” Riley’s Mom said.
“Yeah,” Riley said.
“I don’t know,” Riley’s Mom said. “I don’t like you out that late if there isn’t an adult with you.”
“Come on Mom. Please,” Riley begged.
“Fine. But don’t be out too late, ok?” Riley’s Mom said.
Riley hugged her mom and then was out the door.
Riley texted Lauren.
Mom said yes. Meet you at School.
Riley and Lauren met at the school and started to walk around the town. It wasn’t a large town so Riley and Lauren could probably get to every house in just a few hours. Riley was dressed as Rey from Star Wars and Lauren was dressed up as a Witch. It was a little too “risque” for Riley’s Mom to approve, but Lauren’s parents were cool and didn’t care, so Lauren was able to dress up as whatever she wanted.
The sun had set about an hour ago and Lauren and Riley walked back towards the school with bags of candy in hand. They were in the middle of exchanging candy one liked but the other didn’t and vice versa, when a mysterious man appeared out of the shadows.
Riley and Lauren stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. The moon was high in the sky and the sidewalks seemed to be empty. The streetlamps dimmed and brightened like the electricity surged. The wind picked up and you could hear the screech of bats flying through the air.
“What the heck?” Lauren asked.
Riley and Lauren looked at eachother and then at the man.
He stepped out of the shadows. He wore all black with a long, black cloak. His face and hands were pale. His eyes were yellow and shined in the moonlight.
“Good evening, Ladies,” The man said mostly obscured by darkness.
Lauren and Riley both took a step back. Riley pulled out her phone.
Lauren looked at her phone and it was the same thing. They were in a deadzone.
“Who…who…are you?” Riley asked the nervousness apparent in her voice.
“Yeah man, you’re freaking us out,” Lauren said.
“I’m glad you asked,” The man said with a laugh.
When he showed his teeth, two large fangs protruded from his upper lip.
“Wow, dude. Nice vampire costume,” Lauren said.
The man seemed shaken.
“What? No…this isn’t some costume,” The man said. “I’m a vampire.”
“Yeah that’s what I said,” Lauren said.
“You said I was wearing a costume. This isn’t a costume. I’m a real vampire,” The man said.
Lauren started to laugh which was a mix of a fake laughter and real laughter. Riley stood there still afraid and confused, but Lauren’s attitude helped her calm down.
“Stop it, human. Why are you laughing?” The man asked.
“I just think this whole vampire-persona thing you’re pretending to be is hilarious,” Lauren said. “I mean you look like you’re thirty.”
“I’m 200 years old!” The man yelled.
Lauren rolled her eyes.
“Yeah whatever man. Look you’re costume is cool, but obviously you’re like some nerd or crazy person or something,” Lauren said crossing her arms.
“I’m a vampire,” The man stepped closer to Lauren and Riley.
“If…if you are a vampire, why don’t you tell us how it happened,” Riley chimed in.
The man looked towards Riley and then Lauren and then back to Riley.
“Yeah, like. If you had a cool story about being a vampire, I might believe you,” Lauren said.
“You want to know how this happened to me?” The man pointed at his fangs.
“Yeah, sure,” Lauren said.
“Maybe start with a name,” Riley said.
“Wait it isn’t Dracula or something lame like that is it?” Lauren said making a grossed out face.
“No! My name is not Dracula. It is Jonathan,” Jonathan said.
“That’s still pretty lame,” Lauren said.
“It was a popular name back in the 1820’s,” Jonathan said.
“Not very scary though,” Riley said.
“Are you two going to be like this the entire time?” Jonathan asked.
“No,” Riley said.
“Yeah pretty much,” Lauren said.
The two girls looked at each other and smiled.
“I don’t know if I even want to tell you my story now,” Jonathan said crossing his arms.
“Oh don’t be like that,” Lauren said.
“Yeah you have to tell us,” Riley said.
Jonathan looked at the two girls before letting out a sigh.
“Fine I’ll tell you. Just stand there and listen to my story,” Jonathan said.
Lauren and Riley both stood there silent for the moment.
Jonathan cleared this throat and then began.
“The year was 1811, I was a young man working on a whaling vessel outside of Baltimore,” Jonathan said.
Lauren let out a groan.
“Bored,” She said.
Jonathan was startled.
“You haven’t even let me tell my story. I was just starting,” Jonathan said.
“Super bored,” Lauren pulled out her phone.
“What are you doing?” Jonathan asked.
“Trying to look at Instagram but I think my phone is broken or something. I don’t have service. Why is that?” Lauren asked.
“Well if you just give me a moment I can explain everything,” Jonathan said with a frown.
“Bored,” Lauren repeated.
“Vampires, like myself, disturb phone signals and electrical fields,” Jonathan said really fast.
Riley and Lauren could tell that Jonathan was getting upset. His foot was tapping and he had a permanent scowl on his face. His fangs were still visible behind the frown.
“So can you make my phone work or not?” Lauren asked.
“I can’t control that. It’s just a thing that happens,” Jonathan said.
“So that’s a no on the fix?”
“I don’t even know how to use a phone!” Jonathan yelled.
“Wow…you are old,” Lauren said not looking up from her phone.
She continued to tap on the screen of her phone and frown as nothing worked correctly.
Riley tried to help with the situation.
“Maybe you can skip ahead to the exciting part,” Riley suggested.
Jonathan sighed again.
“Fine. Let me jump ahead to the night I was attacked,” Jonathan said.
He looked over at Laura. Her phone was making a series of beeps and boops.
“Wha…wha…what are you doing now?” Jonathan asked.
“Angry Birds,” Laura said.
Jonathan looked over at Riley.
“Is she always like this?” Jonathan asked.
“Yeah she’s not the most patient person. One time in 5th grade, she held her breath because the teacher wouldn’t let her go to the bathroom. She ended up passing out and hitting her head on the edge of a desk,” Riley said.
“Totally worth it,” Lauren said.
Jonathan sighed deeply again.
“I’ve been around for over 200 years and this is the top 5 worst experiences with human beings I have ever had,” Jonathan said.
“Still don’t believe you, B-T-Dubs,” Lauren said.
“Can I just tell my story now?” Jonathan asked.
“Sure,” Lauren said.
“No,” Lauren said.
Jonathan put his face in his hands.
“Maybe we should just head home,” Riley said tugging on Lauren’s shirt.
Lauren looked up from her phone.
“Did he finish his lame story, yet?” Lauren said nodding towards Jonathan.
“No,” Jonathan said flatly.
“Oh cool,” Lauren said clearly not listening to Jonathan.
“You know what? I don’t have to deal with this. I met Alice Cooper once,” Jonathan said.
“Who?” Lauren asked.
Jonathan pulled at his hair.
“You are the worst!” Jonathan yelled out into the void.
Lauren returned to her phone and there were more sounds coming from her phone.
“You know what. I’m out of here. You don’t get to hear my amazing story,” Jonathan yelled.
“You don’t want to suck my blood or something?” Lauren asked.
“No. I. Don’t. You’re blood is probably salty!” Jonathan crossed his arms.
The road lamps started to flicker once again and the wind picked up. Jonathan’s cloak began to blow in the wind. He wrapped up the cloak around himself and then he faded into the darkness. There was a screech of a bat and Jonathan was gone.
Riley pulled out her phone and checked the signal.
“Hey I got a text message from my Mom. She’s probably going to be angry,” Riley said.
Lauren looked up from her phone.
“That salty thing was actually pretty funny,” Lauren said. “Oh. He’s gone.”
“Yeah you really ticked that guy off,” Riley said.
“Whatever,” Lauren said. “You want to get Chipolte or something?”
“I think they’re closed,” Riley said.
“Right, McDonalds it is,” Lauren said.
Riley and Lauren walked towards the school together.
The Moon was still high in the sky looking over the town. Bats flew around in the night catching insects on the fly. There was also a larger bat flying about cursing teenagers and thinking about Alice Cooper.
Header Photo Credit to Leikoo’s DeviantArt Page
Writing Prompt submitted to r/WritingPrompts by u/Ominus666