First of all, I don’t know what this is. It’s not a blog or a poem or anything really. It’s just the writings of a man low on life rambling in the darkness. There have been many of these, but this may be the first to actually be published. I was feeling low, real low. And this made me think of the Calvin and Hobbes comic by Bill Watterson that you can see up above. This is a short comic featuring the titular character, Calvin, standing underneath a starry sky, yelling “I’m Signicant!” followed by a much quieter “Screamed the dust speck.”
It’s times like these where I feel so insignificant. I feel like just a dust speck. Or maybe not even that. Just a person trying to leave their mark on the world. Someone who could scream and yell, but hear nothing but the echoes of a cold, careless universe answering back.
If you are out here reading this and feel the way I feel, just know that I’m there with you in spirit. I feel insignificant. I feel like a dust speck. But even though I feel this way now, there’s still a part of me that holds out hope. Things may be bad now, but that doesn’t mean they always have to be bad.
While researching Bill Watterson, I found a quote he said which really spoke to me. In 1990, he gave a speech to a group of graduates and talked about how after graduation, he failed to find a job working as a cartoonist and making comic strips for newspapers. He said, “To endure five years of rejection to get a job requires either a faith in oneself that borders on delusion, or a love of the work […] I loved the work.” (Biography) I haven’t had a job where I loved the work, but I have dedicated myself to this creative space here on the internet and even when its hard or I lack the motivation, I know that deep down I love to write and I love knowing that others like to read what I write. I don’t really have the faith in oneself that Watterson was talking about either, but I still hold out hope. That bit of hope is enough to keep me moving and to keep me searching.
So what was the point of all of this? I don’t know. I guess this is a lot more affordable than therapy. Sometimes the pressures of the world or the fear of something like being insignificant in the universe seems far too big to handle. But if you write them down and just turn them into words on the page, they become a little bit more manageable.
Anyway, thank you for reading through that mess. Hopefully it helps you and together we can feel a little bit better about where we are in the world.
Header Photo Credit to Bill Watterson, but I found the image on Reddit
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