National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
I just want to forewarn everyone that we are going to be talking about some heavy subjects in today’s Weekly Blog. These are things that have been said before and will probably be said in the future, but it will be a slight deviation from the regular Weekly Blog. In these blogs, I like to share my opinion, tell some stories, and tell you about my week, but today’s blog is going to be a little heavier. Now I have talked about things like depression and anxiety in a Weekly Blog I published in April titled It Doesn’t Cost You Anything To Be Nice. In that blog I talked about being nice to one another and the fact that you never know what other people are going through. I recommend you read the entire blog, but that’s the gist of it. I want to restate that and talk a little about the anxious or depressed part of the brain and how it influences my thoughts and maybe your thoughts. I call this the “stupid” part of the brain. Before I jump into that; however, I really quickly want to talk about this past week. This was my first full week back from my mini-summer break and I want to thank everyone for their support during this week. Sunday I published a Weekly Blog about YouTube Rabbit Holes, Wednesday I published a Poem about Ocean Waves, and on Friday I published the second part to the Fairy Child story I started a couple weeks ago. So if you haven’t read any of those, I recommend that you do so. Ok, let’s talk about anxiety and depression.
First I should say that I’m not an expert on any of this stuff. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a doctor. Also if you are dealing with any of these things alongside suicidal thoughts and you are in crisis, please, PLEASE call the number of the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. I listed it up above, but just in case it is 1-800-273-8255. They will be able to help you. Just know that you are important. You matter. If you’re here reading these words, that means you are a part of the community I’m cultivating here and I care about you. You can contact me at my email address: email@example.com, but again, if you are in crisis, please call that number because they are way more equipped to help you. So I’m not an expert, but I have been around people who suffer from things like anxiety, depression, and other mental orders. Luckily no one in my life has ever committed suicide, but that thought alone makes me feel so hollow and so sad inside. It just tears me up inside. Also with the recent deaths of fashion designer, Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, I thought that I would scrap my original idea for this week’s Weekly Blog and write about this instead. It just tears me up. I also want to apologize if this blog seems kind of all over the place. I just know when I think about this kind of stuff and write about it, my thoughts get a little stringy and I ramble on a bunch.
Now I couldn’t track down the original Tweet that inspired the idea of the “stupid brain” inside my own brain, but I’m pretty sure I can summarize it for you. Basically anyone that has suffered from depression or anxiety can tell you that it’s almost like the brain is attacking itself. It’s all the thoughts of self doubt and sadness that cloud the mind and drown out all the positivity. It’s a sickness that attacks the rest of the body and makes the person feel useless and powerless. This is the “stupid brain.” The anxious brain. The depressed brain. It’s the part of you that tells you that you can’t do it. That you’re going to fail. That you’re a failure. It hurts because it’s your own inner voice screaming at you and tearing you down. If this was someone else doubting you, it might be a little easier to shrug off, but since it’s your own inner voice, it becomes a lot harder. You’re supposed to be on your own side, so if you have doubts, those doubts must be warranted, right? Wrong. This isn’t you. It’s your “stupid brain.”
The anxiety and depression think they have you all figured out, but they’re wrong. It’s them that hasn’t done anything. Have they ever asked someone out on a date? Have they ever applied for their dream college? Have they ever landed a great job? Have they ever done anything? No. They just try to tear you down and make you feel worthless because they have nothing better to do. They are the bully in school that had no accomplishments of their own so they just tried to pull everyone down to their level. That’s the bully we have to face everyday. And I know it’s hard. When that inner voice tells you that you can’t over and over again, it becomes so hard to keep it from affecting you. You can tell it to go screw itself day after day after day, but the anxiety and depression never tire. It just comes back the next day telling you the same lies over and over again. The “stupid brain” wears you down little by little until you begin to trust it. Maybe it’s ideas aren’t so far-fetched after all. That’s when it’s got you in it’s trap. Once it’s convinced you of one small lie, it can start making you believe anything. Before long, you find yourself spiraling downwards as these thoughts of depression and anxiety become your only thoughts. The anxiety and depression convince you that you’re worthless, that no one loves you, that nobody would care if you were gone.
That can be a scary place. It is a scary place. And your “stupid brain” lead you here. Your anxiety and depression got the better of you and now you don’t know where to go. I’d love to tell you that everything is going to be ok and that you can come back from this, but I know that might not do you much good. I believe that. I really do. But you have to believe it to. You have to let those thoughts of positivity control your life. You have to throw off the heavy, wet blanket of anxiety and depression and be yourself again. It isn’t easy and again, it will become an everyday struggle, but I know you can do it. One place to start is by reaching out to people. I know it’s hard and you might find it embarrassing, but admitting you need help is not weak. It’s a sign that you want to better yourself and turn your life around which is incredibly powerful.
The other thing I should say is that if you’re reading this and you think your friend, family member, coworker, etc. is suffering from mental illness, reach out to them. It’s very hard for them to make that first step and sometimes it takes you to reach out to them. Don’t just accept “I’m fine” as an answer. Push them. Make sure they are alright. And if they need help, let them lean on you. We are all in this together and life becomes a lot easier when we have people we can rely on. Fighting something like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, whatever seem impossible by ourselves, but when you have a network of people by your side, the “stupid brain” cannot win. Keep that in mind. So please reach out to someone today and make sure they are ok. Two minutes of your time can mean the difference between life and death. Just be nice to one another, ok? I’m just so sad watching people turn to suicide. It’s just awful. If you are having troubles no matter how big or how small, please reach out to someone. Please. Also if you are in crisis, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. There are also other resources you can find at Suicide Prevention Hotline.com including a chat if you don’t want to physically talk to someone and just send messages back and forth instead.
I honestly could go one for another ten thousand words about how I just want to give a hug to everyone out there that are hurting, but I better cut myself off. I know that was probably a tough one to read through, but it’s important. No matter if the community is five people of five thousand people, it’s important that a community looks out for one another and is there when we need it. So thank you for reading through that Weekly Blog. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope that if you’re out there and this spoke to you, that this bettered your day in someway. Even if it’s just that you are not alone in this. You can give this a like or leave a comment down below. Just be nice to one another down there in the comment section. Be supportive. I promise next week’s Weekly Blog will be more uplifting.
Thank you again for reading and I hope you have a wonderful week!
Header Photo Credit to The Cleveland Clinic