Heart: I think we’re going to die alone.
Brain: What? We have each other. Also I’m the one who does the thinking.
Heart: No I mean him. He’s going to die alone.
Brain: Do we have to do this now? I was about to enjoy a dream.
Heart: Yes we have to do this now! It’s urgent. Plus, you keep him awake all the time.
Brain: Only when I want him to rehearse for conversations that aren’t going to happen or when he needs to reflect on embarrassing things he said years ago that he can’t change. You know, the truly important things.
Heart: Brain! I’m serious.
Brain: I’m the serious one.
Heart: I’m really worried about him.
Brain: Yeah that’s more your style.
Heart: Brain…
Brain: Yeah. Fine. You’re worried. Now can I dream already?
Heart: His Tindr dates have not been going well.
Brain: Well it is a pretty artificial process. Mostly based on our appearance and not our personality or common interests. Plus I’m sure most of the base is actually just advertisements made to pry on the weak will of lonely, single men.
Heart: Dana was nice.
Brain: No, not Dana. Dana talked way too much about her cats. She put them in sweaters. We don’t like cats. Or sweaters.
Heart: We could grow to like them. If she was our soulmate.
Brain: Maybe you could like them. I would not.
Heart: Come on Brain. We could change.
Brain: I know what I like.
Heart: Liking things is my thing.
Brain: Goodnight Heart.
Heart: No wait! We need to th…come up with something. We need some kind of…love plan!
Brain. Well. What do you suggest?
Heart: I don’t know. Maybe we should go get some Mint Chip Ice cream. Then we can come up with a really good plan. Sugar helps us think.
Brain: Bad idea! We need our sleep, so that I can be at my top level of performance tomorrow when he needs me most. Sugar this late is bad for us and will keep us up all night.
Heart: Perfect. Then we can watch a movie or stare up at the stars. Maybe give Dana a call.
Brain: No. No. And No! We need sleep. I want to dream.
Heart: Brain! We can’t! We need to figure out how to save him from loneliness.
Brain: Fine, but no more discussion of Dana and her sweater-wearing cats. Truly an abomination to the modern world.
Heart: Fine. No more Dana or cats. But what are we going to do?
Brain: We could always change up our online biography. Maybe add some puns or some key buzz words. Really make the algorithm work for us.
Heart: That kind of cheapens it don’t you think? We’re talking about finding true love.
Brain: No, we’re talking about a dating application on his phone. And that was your idea, remember?
Heart: I thought felt like we would find the one, you know? That she was out there looking for us.
Brain: Maybe she’s asleep right now.
Heart: Dreaming about us?
Brain: …sure.
Heart: I sure hope so. I bet she’s blonde. No! Redhead. Definitely a redhead. With the most beautiful eyes.
Brain: Yeah I’m going to sleep.
Heart: She has the cutest little freckles. She’s self-conscience about them, but in time she loves them as much as we do.
Brain: I hope we have the flying dream again. Not the teeth falling out dream. I hate irrational fears.
Heart: Our kids are going to grow up to be doctors. Or astronauts. Or the first doctors on Mars!
Brain:
Heart: We’ll have a nice big house on the beach. One on the Atlantic coast and one on the Pacific.
Brain:
Heart: And we’ll take frequent camping trips just the two of us. We can cuddle up together on a log while we roast marshmallows over a roaring fire.
Brain:
Heart: Do you think we should have a Spring Wedding or a Fall Wedding?
Brain:
Heart: Brain?
Brain:
Heart: Brain? BRAIN?
Brain:
Heart: Goodnight, Brain.
Brain: Goodnight, Heart.
Header Photo Credit to Hiren Dave’s Tech Blog
http://hirendave.tech/tech-humor/heart-vs-brain-which-one-to-follow/
Allen The Writer 